Hi Pals! Happy International Running Day!! It seems appropriate that I am stepping back into the RW&&B space today after taking a few weeks away! I've been mulling over this fun feeling that maybe what I'm writing is just so self indulgent and it's not having any impact on anyone, so I had to take a small step back. I haven't come to any groundbreaking conclusions other than, of course, writing a blog solely about my own interests is inherently self indulgent and that's just the nature of pursuing a writing passion from this angle. And that self doubt can creep in and be a powerful deterrent when we set out to pursue something creative, whether only for our own consumption or for others.
(when we dream it tends to look like this :))
So while there hasn't been a ton of writing happening over here, there has been a TON of planning and dreaming. Brian and I have really started to hunker down and focus in on what we are wanting to accomplish in the next year and a half in order to make some giant huge enormous life dreams come to fruition.
Quick aside--if I haven't said this enough already, it is SO AMAZING to finally be able to make dreams together and put our hard work together and set out to accomplish them. We really didn't do that for the 4 years we were doing long distance and so now that things that we wanted so badly for so long are actually within reach, I almost don't know what to do it feels so good. So if anyone is in the middle of long distance and feels like it's never going to end or it's hopeless, let us be the reminder that it feels like shit now but if you really love each other and work really hard, it will be over one day. I used to hate when people would tell me that because it was so far away and yucky but dang is it true!
But anyway, as we've been having these conversations we've been presented with the idea of being "settled"; more so how being settled always seems to be one step away. Watch:
Of course, this is only a mindset. It can continue or it can change, it's all a matter of our brains. I know I tend to be a dreamer who will accomplish goals and then get right set on the next one without feeling warm in the current one. This is something I'm trying to change.
So we've been financially planning big changes that we have in our hearts and Bri made a comment along the lines of, "Well, still enjoy our life now. Don't get so antsy for the change and then we move and you are ready for the next."
UM HELLO WISHING YOUR LIFE AWAY.
That comment punched me in the brain. Like, heck yes don't just wish away a full year of life. So here again comes the idea of being settled. I was chewing on this idea when it washed over me: I feel most settled when I'm running. Settled in movement. When the mind has only the body to focus on and there's a change with every step, that's when I feel most peaceful.
well hot dang dog. I don't know what to do with information but when I finally was able connect those two mind zaps into a full thought it felt amazing. Maybe that's what runners have in common. Or all endurance athletes. That we find most peace when we are most physically uncomfortable. But follow this thought--are we most physically uncomfortable when we're running? Because I for sure feel worse when I haven't run and am sitting for endless amounts of time. It seems right that this is such a contradiction because we are all, at our cores, walking contradictions. I feel that's one of the most human qualities.
It feels like there's a lot of digging we can do on this one topic so for the next few weeks I'll be doing a short lil series on it. It's going to include some pretty juicy pieces that pertain to the likes of religion and women and running. I hope it's as interesting to y'all as it is to me because dang I could talk about this forever!
I'm happy to be back here and I'm sending y'all love from the little yellow house tucked under the pines <3
Are you currently in a long distance relationship? How's it going? What's some of the self care you practice?
If you are pursuing something creative right now, how do you keep the self doubt at bay?
When do you feel most settled?